Independence Day
We are also blessed to be part of an incredibly gracious, loving and generous church body. Our family is surrounded and supported by couples who exemplify Christian marriage, families who live out their faith, and fellow believers who challenge us to grow. I don't think I have to say this, but just in case... these families are not perfect and we shouldn't (and don't) look to other people for the ultimate example - we look to Christ because people are bound to fail us. But believers need each other to encourage, to challenge, to support, to correct and to provide opportunities to grow. We have that in our church family. It is a great blessing to be loved and to have the opportunity to serve as well. I would encourage anyone who isn't part of a local church body to consider being obedient to God in this and find a place to belong - He knows what's best for us after all!
Recently I had to bring Dylan into our sanctuary while the choir and orchestra were rehearsing for a concert to take place this Sunday night. There is childcare available, but because I had to wake him up from his nap and rush him to church he was pretty emotional and (on this rare occassion) didn't want me to leave him to play so I gave him the option to come and sit while we rehearsed. A few choir members approached me and Kevin after the rehearsal and said they couldn't believe he sat there for the whole rehearsal so well behaved! Honestly I didn't anticipate him NOT sitting, or else I wouldn't have brought him into the sanctuary in the first place because a 3 year old running around everywhere would have been too much of a distraction. But this got me thinking... so I'm going to post some things that have really worked while parenting Dylan that may help other parents with their children. Parenting isn't "one size fits all" but someone might benefit from this post and I know I'll look back on it while parenting Jocelyn and see some good reminders for myself. These are in no particular order... maybe I'll organize a little better in another blog entry. 1. Empathy and understanding
It's so important to try to put yourself in your child's shoes and be understanding. There are things that seem so little to us, but they are a big deal in their little worlds. I'm sure God feels the same way about us when we worry over things that are so little to Him... 2. Set expectations and follow-through This establishes trust, and that is the most important thing I've found that encourages obedience. For example, before going into the sanctuary I explained to him my expectations... he needs to stay in one place, he needs to stay quiet, and if he is unable to do those two things I will take him to childcare to play. Because I have stayed true to what I say in the past, he knew he could trust me to do what I said - and in turn, I could trust him to follow my instructions. 3. Be a student of your child If Dylan watches TV instead of getting some physical activity or mental stimulation first thing in the morning after breakfast, he is miserable the rest of the day. Since I know this about him, I rarely allow him to watch TV in the morning, and if he does, it's only one show for 30 minutes. Any more than that and he gets bored, lazy, and tends to be difficult.
4. A sleeping and eating routine = a happy child.
When Dylan is hungry or tired, he is more likely to be cranky. So we have a routine and we stick to it as closely as possible every day. He wakes at around 7:30 and eats breakfast, we have a snack around 10, he eats lunch around 12 then nap around 1:30-2:00 until 3:30ish. We have an afternoon snack and then eat dinner between 5:30-6:30. Bathtime is 7:00 and bedtime is 8:00. Children are creatures of habit and they feel stable when on a schedule. If his blood sugar is regulated all day and he feels well rested, he is more alert and able to learn and play better.
5. Seek advice from other parents who have well-behaved and happy children.
Surround yourself with great examples of encouragement. We aren't in this alone!! Many have gone before us and have tried things that worked, and things that haven't worked so learn from other parents!
6. Get creative
And if you're not the creative type, go online and use ideas from creative moms or parenting blogs/magazines! Can't get your kid to want to practice writing his letters? Try this: Today we were playing "police officer" and there was an emergency at the farm! In order to rescue the animals from the burning barn, Dylan had to practice writing the letters to spell the animals' names - for example: PIG! We got to write PIG, COW, and CHICKEN. When he started to lose interest, I just encouraged him to finish the word we were working on currently then we could play something else. This gave him responsibility to follow-through, but still kept it fun.
7. Be a great example.
If you want your kid to eat their veggies, then eat your veggies. Dylan was born a great eater... but I think the ways we've encouraged him to eat during some picky stages include keeping the dinner table a fun, relaxed atmosphere, requiring him to try something once (but if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it) and feeding him exactly what we are eating but in his size and portion. Why buy him special white bread when we eat whole wheat? He's part of our family, so he should eat like he is.
8. Be your child's biggest fan.
Try not to talk about your child - share embarrasing stories about them - in front of them to other people. I will have to admit this is something I need to work on (mainly because they are ALWAYS with me!) but have respect and cheer your child on. It will encourage them to shine!
9. Practical consequences
This is something I am learning, and let me say it works like a charm! Instead of threatening a spanking or putting your child in time-out all day long, give practical consequences. For example, your child throws his toy at you. Give a warning: Don't throw your toy at me or anyone else, it could hurt someone. If you throw your toy again, you will lose your toy. Then follow through! This is another example... Dylan was goofing off while going up the stairs a few months ago. I told him he could fall and get hurt, so stop goofing off. He decided not to obey, so he lost his priviledge to walk up the stairs and I carried him up instead. This was a big deal for him - he wants to be independent and do everything himself. The next time he tried this, I warned him he would lose his priviledge to walk up the stairs and sure enough, he straightened up right away! 10. Do the hard work early.
This is probably the most important one. Don't be under the impression that everything your child does at a very young age is because your child is just "at that age". Teach morality from the very beginning. Set expectations. Don't allow too many freedoms, because freedoms are much easier to give than to take away. Start early and be diligent - you will reap the rewards of all your hard work!
Most importantly.... Pray - God loves us and have given us the Holy Spirit to counsel us and help us throughout the day. Ask God to give you everything you need to parent your child in a way that will honor Him. He will answer that prayer on a moment to moment basis throughout the day. I have this verse at my kitchen sink. It is a great encouragement to me every day and I hope it will encourage you, too!
1 comments:
yay! you are such a great leader!
your kids are so cute and i think you're doing a great job!!!!
your schedule is almost EXACTLY the same (time-for-time) as ours! when the kids stop taking naps, i think it's important to keep that as a quiet time for them and you... *just food for thought
<3
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